15 month LID Anniversary!!

Well today is our 15 month LID anniversary - I wish I could say I was more excited but unfortunatley I'm not. I had a dream last night that we were going to China tomorrow to pick up Mhyia. In my dream my parents were coming with us and we were driving to pick her up. I don't know which part is more unbelieveable, the fact that we were driving to China or the fact that we were going tomorrow!!! Anyways it was a nice dream while it lasted. I just can't wait to get to a month where I have less time to wait then I have already waited. I just wish I could count on some kind of a timeline - I use to think 3 years but when I look at the numbers and the way referrals are going I just don't see how it is possible? If I could at least count on a time of year I would be able to buy little things here and there like I use to but I can't even do that. I use to love thinking about buying things and doing a baby registry, decorating the nursery etc... but now it just seems like I will never get to a time when I feel confident enough to be excited.

As many of you know we had 5 miscarriages while trying to concieve and everytime we were told we were pregnant we always felt like we could not get excited - well that is how I am starting to feel about the adoption. Don't get me wrong I am so excited to be adopting and to be adopting from China because that has always been a dream of ours but I just don't know if that day will come when we feel confident enough to do all the fun things that come along with expecting a child?? Last night Mike said to me while we were talking about the wait "at least we can say we are in the middle of the pile of waiting people, or even better than middle". Well I must say that I had never thought about it that way before - I still always feel like we are at the end of the pile but we're not. There is approx 8.5 months to get through to reach us and there are approx 15.5 months after us so we are closer to the front than the end! I guess that is the way I should start thinking about it because for some strange reason it made me feel better!

Our 1st Christmas Party of the season!!

Well this past weekend we went to our annual Christmas get togehter with friends!! There are four couples and we all take turns having it our houses! This year was great - I was responsible for bringing dessert, which for anyone who knows me is pretty much the only thing I offer to bring. I love baking - cooking, not so much!

Last year Mike and I were shopping at Williams Sonoma (one of our favourite kitchen stores) and we bought this snowman cake pan. I decided that this years Christmas party
would be the perfect opportunity to try it out. Thank god I had actully tried to bake a cake in it earlier in the week because it proved to be a little tricky. Since my trial run seemed okay I figured I would go for it!! Well thank god it turned out okay - you have to bake two halves and then put them together which also worked out okay. Once the little guy was assembled and standing on his own it was
time to decorate him!! I must say I was quite impressed with myself because it turned out pretty good! It took me about an hour to do but he looked good so we headed off to the party. The drive over was a little nerve racking but he made it safely and he was quite a hit!

He didn't look so by the end of the party but he sure did taste good!! I love when I try new things and they actually turn out the way I picture in my head! I think I will have to make this again!!

Our first nephew!!

"Landyn Kenneth Philip DuFour"

Last Thursday Mikes youngest brother Andrew and his wife Kayla had their first baby - a boy!! This is our first nephew and of course he is gorgeous! He was born last Thursday night Nov 15th. Mike and I went to see him last Friday night and then we were in Mississauga again on Saturday for a seminar so of course we stopped in to see him again! We are so excited to have a nephew, we have two nieces that we love to death so this is very exciting! Here are a couple of pictures of him! Congratulations Andrew and Kayla - he is truly a gift from God!!!

Mommies in Waiting Dinner!

Last Friday night (Nov 9th) I went to another Mommies in Waiting dinner. The dinners are held every two months and mommies from all over the GTA and further come out and chat, eat etc.. it is such a great support group! This time we had 13 mommies and little Ava! We have mommies who are already home with their little ones, mommies who have just recieved referrals and then mommies like me who are waiting and waiting and waiting. Also we have mommies who are adopting from other countries too - not just China so it is always very interesting to hear everyones stories.

To be honest at first I wasn't feeling overly excited about going - it seems that any adoption news lately is always depressing and I was feeling like somehow I just needed to try to put the adoption to the back of my mind...yeah right, like that's going to happen. Well I went and it actually made me feel 100% better!! The drive in with Karen was great even though we were in bad traffic the whole time, it gave us time to chat and catch up. I am so thankful for my friendship that has evolved with Karen, I love to visit and talk with her and seeing Samara always makes me feel that it is only a matter of time before Mike and I will be home with our daughter!

Dinner was great, the company was great (Catherine is always so positive she made me feel better right away) and I left there feeling great - stuffed but great!

We always have a gift exchange at the dinner and this time the theme was "reading". I received "Goodnight Goodnight Sleepy Head" and "Five Little Monkeys" I LOVE them! I love both stories and I love books that are hard pages - much less chance of getting damaged etc..!! You can never have too many books - Mhyia will love them!

November Referrals are here!!

Congratulations to everyone who received their referral this month! The CCAA matched up to and including December 8th, 2005 which means that there is now 264 LID's left to match to get to ours (Aug 29, 06). I really have NO idea what this means anymore in terms of time?? Originally we were told 9-12 months (it has been 14 already) then we were told 14, then 16, then 18 then it went to 24 months and then it took a huge jump and went to 3 years and know I swear it is going to be longer although I am praying that it doesn't. Who knows anymore, I just wish I could count on a timeline so that I could actually start to get excited as we get closer but all that has happened for us is that it has continually gotten further and further away. I just want her here as soon as possible!!!

Meeting our Travel Group Friends!!

Well this weekend we went to London and met a couple that we will be travelling with to China (hopefully in this decade!). We are group 272 and we had 7 couples in our group but I think it is down to 5 or 6 now. All of the couples are pretty spread out over Canada and there is NEVER any interaction with any of them besides us.

Both Melody and I have sent out e-mails to our group members when exciting things happen like getting throught the review room etc.. but we never hear from any of them. We on the other hand have talked since day one and this weekend is the first time we have met. It was so exciting to meet Mike and Melody, even though we are a far way off from travelling it made it seem more real and of course we really like them so that is even better, especially considering we will be spending two weeks and one of the biggest most exciting days of our lives togehter!! We live about 2 hours away from each other so we met in the middle for lunch, oh how I wish we lived closer but oh well we have already talked about getting together for some other things so we can't wait!!!

14 Month LID Anniversary!!!

Well once again another month has gone by - not fast enough but at least we are headed in the right direction! I can't wait until the day that our LID anniversary number is larger than the number of months that we still have to wait.

I have been trying very hard to not think about it too much because it is just so far away plus the fact that I am still unemployed doesn't make it any easier. It is very difficult to say $$ for China when you are unemployed. I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and I do truly believe that, it's just that I am getting sick of waiting for the reason to come to light!

Please comment!!!

Okay I put a counter on my blog which I am thinking is a bad idea!! I drive myself nuts when it is constantly going up yet I have no new comments!

Please leave a comment - even if it is just "Hi"!! I know so many of my family and friends tell me they go to our blog and I have yet to see any comments! As for strangers - I would love for you to comment - I am one who completely jumps around to any and everyones blogs to read stories of how people pass their time waiting or of course my favourite is referral time and the great stories in China as well as once people are home. I just love to see that people have been to our blog!!

So please - for my sanity - leave a comment!!

Chinese Lantern Festival!!

Last weekend Mike and I went The Chinese Lantern Festival at Ontario Place with my cousin Darlene and her daughter Lexi! It was amazing, the weather was absolutely perfect. There is so much to see that we didn't really get to see and do everyhting that we wanted but it was still wonderful. We ate (chinese food of course), we looked at the crafts (I wish there had been more), Mike had some tea at the Tea Ceremony, we watched the performers and then of course we walked along the pathway and looked at all the lanterns - they are beautiful during the day but they are amazing at night!!

This lady was painting names on these paper banners - she would use a alot of different colours and make each letter using dragons, flowers etc... she was so fast it was really amazing! We got one that said "Mhyia" and Lexi got one too! I am going to trim of the green border and frame it for Myhia's room!



Below are some of the lanterns - most were made of material but some were made of some kind of crystal bead looking things - very beautiful!! (if you click on the a photo you can get a closer look)


This one was huge and the whole thing was made of tea cups, saucers, spoons and plates - this is a close up of one part of the dragon head


This one was made to advertise for the Olympics in 2008 - these five little characters are on everything Olymic related!


It was a great night, we had a great time! There were SO MANY adoptive parents there with there little girls - it made me wish that that was us but I just kept telling myself that it will be - one day!

We are going to go back next year for sure if they have it again! I will try to post some pictures of the performers later.

13 month LID Anniversary!!

Today marks our 13 month LID anniversary!

I can't believe how long this process has become since we first started. We actually started the whole process 20 months ago. Thank goodness we are finally out of the review room so now we just have to wait for our referral!

October referral rumors are starting to come and apparently the CCAA has matched upto at least Nov 30th,2005 so thank goodness we have finally finished November, it seems like November has been in there forever! If they did indeed only match upto the 30th than this means we would have 272 more days until they match our LID - okay thats funny, our group number at our agency is #272! I don't even want to think about how long it will be if they only match 5 and 6 days at a time. They would have to go back to matching 10 days a month for us to wait 27 more months and that would put us over a 3 year total wait. I just hope that all the rumors about matching picking up in the new year are true!

Yeah!! Something to Celebrate!!

I got a great surprise this morning when I went to Rumor Queens website - she posted that the CCAA has finished reviewing Aug 2006!!

That means they have reviewed our file and everything must have been okay becuase we didn't get any phone calls. We are officially approved and now waiting, waiting and waiting some more to be matched with our little girl!

I was just checking the CCAA website yesterday and thinking how it would probably be at least two more weeks before we would see anything - if anything at all. What a great way to start my day, lets hope I get some other exciting news today - maybe on the jobfront!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well today is my birthday and as I sit here and type I am remembering last years birthday when I was about 10 pounds lighter, was employed, and thought I would have our little girl in about a year or so. Well today those things couldn't be further from the truth. I am trying to put a positive spin on my situation by telling myself that this too can be a year of changes and hopefully for the better. I am seriously going to try to loose weight and I am looking for a job that I will love - one where I can possibly advance and hopefully be at for the rest of my working days. As for bringing our daughter home sooner - that is completely out of our control but I can pray that somehow we don't have to wait more than 2 more years and celebrate each month that goes by (at a snails pace) as one more month down!

Well as for today I am currently sitting at home by myself bored out of my mind but later today I am going to my parents for dinner and cake (I guess I will start my diet tomorrow!!) with Mike and my family!! I LOVE going home on my birhtday - it is where I have my best birthday memories and of course my mom and dad always make a big deal over my birthday which I LOVE. I am not one for a huge party but I love to go home!!!

Something to be happy about!!!

I was just on the CCAA website and they have officially reviewed up to July 31st, 2006 which means they must be working on August right now!!! We have a LID of Aug 29th, 2006. I know that it doesn't mean we are really any closer but I will be so excited once I see August on there. It will be the first thing to happen in months so I am looking forward to it. The unfortunate part is that once our file is through all we really have to do is wait, wait, and wait some more but at least it will be one more thing down. I hope we don't have any questions about our file but if we do I am hoping it won't be anything to major. Come on August!!!

Another disappointing month.

Well I got up this morning and thought I would check the CCAA website and I couldn't believe it had been updated but much to my disappointmnet they have only matched to November 25, 2005. This means they only match 4 days worth!!!! A big congratulations to those moms and dads who will receive a referral this month!! For anyone waiting ...there is nothing excitng about this news.

We have a LID of Aug 29, 2006 which means that we are 277 days away from our LID. If the CCAA matches 4 days at a time we would have a mere 69 more months to wait. If they take another 6 months to match the rest of 2005 then they would have to go back to mathcing 15 days a month for all of 2006 for us to receive our referral in the estimated 3 years. I just don't know what to do anymore?? With so many years of infertility and never ending disappointing news we were soooo excited to start our adoption and since we started it has been the same constant disappointing news.

There are so many rumours that Nov 2005 was a huge month for LID's and once the CCAA gets through it and especially into 2006 things will go back to a better referral rate each month - I can't tell you how I am hoping/wishing/praying that this is true.

1 Year LID anniversary!!!!!

Well it has officially been 1 year since our file was logged in with the CCAA. I am not sure if I am excited or depressed?? On one hand I am excited it has been a year and it has seemed to go by fairly quickly but on the other hand I just keep thinking that we have 2+ more years to wait (fingers crossed for less).
It hasn't really been a great year either...12 months ago we thought we would be home with our daughter by now and then poof, in less than a year we went from waiting 9 months to waiting 3 years or more.

Then I think of how I wanted to loose weight before we go to China...that hasn't happened yet.

I need to find a new job since I got laid off two months ago....that hasn't happened yet.

We need to save A LOT of money....that hasn't happened yet.

We want to finish the basement and do the driveway etc....that hasn't happened yet (thanks to lack of a job and therefore lack of funds)

These are all reasons why the rational, logical side of me says that there is a reason for the long wait and it will be better for us all around. Except for the fact that I want my little girl NOW!!!

Oh well for today I will celebrate the fact that it has been a year and than start to concentrate on these things that I want to do before our daughter gets here, I really do feel when I look back that a year has flown by!!!

Our trip to Ottawa - Part 1

I am fianlly getting around to posting some photos of our trip to Ottawa. We had so much fun (although I couldn't get the fact that I was probably going to be out of a job out of my head). My parents have never been to Ottawa and I hadn't been since grade eight (which was only a few years ago..haha..)

Here is a picture of me enjoying a beaver tail mmmmmm I should have bought my own instead of agreeing to share with Mike!!

We went to all the tourist attractions..Parliment Hill, The museum of Civilization, War museum etc... we also got to see the first Changing of the Guard at the Parliment Buildings. Mike was in heaven, he loves that stuff!!

Overall we had a great trip!! The annual ribfest was on the whole weekend while we were there so thanks to my mom and dad we enjoyed a lot of ribs one night! Ottawa is so beautiful we will go back for sure maybe next year - there is so much to see it is almost impossible to do it in one weekend.


Changing of the Guard - this was the first ceremony of the season and we got to see it. It was a very cool ceremony!!





Mom at the Parliment Buildings - They were setting up for Canada Day so it was hard to get a good picture of the Parliment Buildings straight on.








Mike standing beside the former Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson statue. He was so excited to be there, Mike loves anything to do with history, government etc... I had to take his picture by EVERY statue!







My Dad inside a tank at The War Museum - My dad and Mike were like kids in a candy shop in this room at The War Museum. It was filled with old tanks, cannons, planes etc...etc... anyhting to do with vehicles in the war. It was quite neat but it wasn't quite as exciting for my mom and I.




Mike - very excited by the Cheese Shop!!






Me - much more excited by the Bakery!! These shops were at the Byward Market. We loved the Byward Market, it was filled with all kinds of street venders selling produce and baked goods etc.. and then there were also all kinds of shops and restaurants as well!!




My Mom and I at the Museum of Civilization - I think this was my personal favourite of the things that we did. There is lots to see and do and of course the view is beautiful. You can see the back of The Parliment Buildings behind us!



All in all we had a great trip and lots of fun!! I think we will be going back next year for more - there is too much to see and do in one trip. I will post the pictures from the Treasures from China exhibit that was at the museum as soon as I figure out how to do one of the rolling picture things.

11 month LID anniversary!!!

Okay we are almost to our 1 year anniversary! When I look forward to how long we still have to wait it seems like forever and when I look back on what we have now already waited it seems like it has gone by fast. Hopefully we only have approx 24 more months to wait - but who knows?? If things don't start to pick up in the new year it could be longer but I will hope for the best - that is all we can do!!

One month closer!

I just noticed that June 2006 is out of the review room!! The CCAA has been flying through the last couple of months. Only two more months worth and we will be through the review room - then I will breath a huge sigh of relief. Now if the CCAA would just be able to go through referrals that quickly we would be in heaven!

For anyone not knowing what I mean when I say through the review room it means that the CCAA (China Centre for Adoption Affairs) has to review each persons file and either approve it or not approve it - I personally have never heard of someone not being approved but I am sure it has happened? for the most part, they might ask questions relating to your file if there is anything that they want clarification on etc... Once they complete your month than you are through, you are approved to adopt from China!! We are LID Aug 29, 2006 so only two more months to go, it is something for us to look forward to since nothing has been happening lately!!

A lot has happened since my last post!

Okay I need to be more on top of my posts. A lot has happened since my last one - I will list them in order...

1. We took a trip to Ottawa - I will do a second post about this next because it was a lot of fun, I took a lot of pictures and we also went to see the "Treasures from China" exhibit which I also took a lot of pictures of (it was amazing).

2. I lost my job - I already wrote about this one but I will touch on it again. As much as I am freaking out about it I am trying to look at it as a blessing in disguise. I have been wanting to get a more secure job, one where I can advance and hopefully have a pension etc.. My ideal job is to work anywhere in the government (federal, provincial or municipal) - I don't care if I have to start off by delivering mail. I really hope I can somehow make this happen, it would give me a couple of years to work and get established before we get our little love bug!

3. Our 10 month LID anniversary!! - This was on the 29th of June, I wasn't in the mood for celebrating but I was excited that we were finally into the double digit numbers. As everyone already knows and I know that most people feel exactly the same way it is hard to be excited becasue every month that we have gotten closer we actually have gotten further away. The rumours have stayed around the "3 year" mark for a while now so lets hope and pray it doesn't go any longer.

4. Mommies in Waiting dinner - This was my first time being able to attend the mommies in waiting dinner which was A LOT of fun. Thank you sooooo much to Karen for letting me drive in with her - I guarantee I would have got lost!! We did the gift exchange which was exciting - I recieved a little bikini (so cute) and a beach bucket and shovel as well as a beach baby scrapbook page already done - just waiting for my little beach babies picture! Paula also gave all of us a knitted teddy bear - thanks Paula! It was so great to finally meet so many people who I only know through their blogs and be able to talk with people who know exactly what I am going through and have the same feelings themselves!!

5. Our 12th Wedding Anniversary! - It was our 12th wedding anniversay on July 8th, we went to The Ancaster Old Mill for their champaigne brunch which was amazing as always!! I don't drink champaigne but as always Mike enjoyed both of ours (all 12 glasses or so!!) Anyways it was very nice, I can't believe we have been married for 12 years already - we have been through A LOT in that time and I thank god that I have a DH who is always by my side and so loving!!

Well I think that is it since my last post! I am going to post those pictures from Ottawa in the next day or so!!

I need a job!!!

Well just when I thought things couldn't get much worse...they did! I am officially out of a job and am kind of FREAKING OUT!!! I have bills to pay and China to save for etc... I hate complaining because really my life is pretty good but I can't go without a job so I need to get something. I am going to take this opportunity to try and find a good stable job before the baby comes! If anyone has any great job openings please let me know!