17 month LID Anniversary!

Well it has been 17 months since we rec'd our LID - at which time we were told 16 - 18 months haha how things have changed in a year and a half. We were told this month that our ministry approval letter was to expire but it has been extended to July making it 2 years at which time we will need to re-do that. The scary thing is that we will probably have to re-do it one more time after that because the wait times are so long.

This last month has been a great month though! I started my new job which I absolutely LOVE and the time sure flies by when you are working - which is great. While I was off time went by at a snails pace and all I did was surf the web for news on adoption which of course made time seem even slower.

As many of you can understand this wait is sooooo long that it seems like something that isn't even real but with every month that goes by we are just that much closer to our little girl!! This is what I keep telling myself!

My new Job!!

Yes I finally got a new job and so far I am loving it! It is actually a one year maternity leave contract, which of course isn't permanent and makes me a little nervous but I have been told that there is lots of opportunity and they very seldom let people go when they are an asset to the company "I guess I have a hard work year ahead of me".
Speaking of hard work - today was my first day and I was suppose to be working with the current employee for another month before her due date....you guessed it...she had the baby last week (5 weeks early). She and the baby are doing great...I on the other hand am more than a little overwhelmed. I just want to do such a great job and I am so worried that I am just not going to catch on?? I am hoping that in a week or so I will feel so much better.

Anyways I have to go and prepare for my day tomorrow!! I am so use to sleeping in..I miss it already - I can't wait for Saturday!!!

16 month LID Anniversary!!

Well today marks 16 months since our LID, originally we thought we would be home with Mhyia but now I can only hope we are home with her by this time 2010...yes I said 2010!!! That is 3 years from now, I can't even believe I am saying those words. Anyways it is almost 2008 and I am hoping that it will be a very good year for us, I hope it starts off by me finding a job!!

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree

Well I have had my tree up since the 2nd week of November but I didn't think to put pictures of it on the blog. I have seen others with pictures and I thought it was a good idea, a good keepsake! I have to start thinking of this blog as more of a scrapbook of my wait than as a place I complain to anyone who will listen.
I have the most difficult time trying to take pictures of the Christmas Tree - it either turns out blurry because of the lights or it turns out too bright because of the flash etc... I have tried a million different settings but nothing really seems to work. I wanted a nice picture with the lights on because the tree always looks better with the lights on but it is just NOT happening. Anyways here are some pictures of the christmas tree and as you can see the presents are starting to take over...

The 2 best pictures I could get - one with & one without the lights!





Just some more shots of around the house! I am typically not a huge fan of gold but when it comes to Christmas I try to stick with the traditional red/green and gold - especially on the tree!




Okay this is fun - I am going to take some pictures of my favourite ornaments and post them in the next day or two!

December referrals!

Congratulations to all the parents who rec'd the best Christmas present ever this month!! The CCAA has matched upto and including the 14th - which is only another 6 days worth. Don't get me wrong it could be worse but it also could be sooo much better.
Speaking of things being not so good - I am still looking for work and I am getting really down, anxious, depressed, nervous etc etc.... about it. I had taken a casual part time job recently thinking it might be something that I would love and that could possibly lead to a great futre career etc... NOT - this job was not at all for me so I am no longer working there and am back looking for a full time office type position. I am hoping for a better 2008!!!

15 month LID Anniversary!!

Well today is our 15 month LID anniversary - I wish I could say I was more excited but unfortunatley I'm not. I had a dream last night that we were going to China tomorrow to pick up Mhyia. In my dream my parents were coming with us and we were driving to pick her up. I don't know which part is more unbelieveable, the fact that we were driving to China or the fact that we were going tomorrow!!! Anyways it was a nice dream while it lasted. I just can't wait to get to a month where I have less time to wait then I have already waited. I just wish I could count on some kind of a timeline - I use to think 3 years but when I look at the numbers and the way referrals are going I just don't see how it is possible? If I could at least count on a time of year I would be able to buy little things here and there like I use to but I can't even do that. I use to love thinking about buying things and doing a baby registry, decorating the nursery etc... but now it just seems like I will never get to a time when I feel confident enough to be excited.

As many of you know we had 5 miscarriages while trying to concieve and everytime we were told we were pregnant we always felt like we could not get excited - well that is how I am starting to feel about the adoption. Don't get me wrong I am so excited to be adopting and to be adopting from China because that has always been a dream of ours but I just don't know if that day will come when we feel confident enough to do all the fun things that come along with expecting a child?? Last night Mike said to me while we were talking about the wait "at least we can say we are in the middle of the pile of waiting people, or even better than middle". Well I must say that I had never thought about it that way before - I still always feel like we are at the end of the pile but we're not. There is approx 8.5 months to get through to reach us and there are approx 15.5 months after us so we are closer to the front than the end! I guess that is the way I should start thinking about it because for some strange reason it made me feel better!

Our 1st Christmas Party of the season!!

Well this past weekend we went to our annual Christmas get togehter with friends!! There are four couples and we all take turns having it our houses! This year was great - I was responsible for bringing dessert, which for anyone who knows me is pretty much the only thing I offer to bring. I love baking - cooking, not so much!

Last year Mike and I were shopping at Williams Sonoma (one of our favourite kitchen stores) and we bought this snowman cake pan. I decided that this years Christmas party
would be the perfect opportunity to try it out. Thank god I had actully tried to bake a cake in it earlier in the week because it proved to be a little tricky. Since my trial run seemed okay I figured I would go for it!! Well thank god it turned out okay - you have to bake two halves and then put them together which also worked out okay. Once the little guy was assembled and standing on his own it was
time to decorate him!! I must say I was quite impressed with myself because it turned out pretty good! It took me about an hour to do but he looked good so we headed off to the party. The drive over was a little nerve racking but he made it safely and he was quite a hit!

He didn't look so by the end of the party but he sure did taste good!! I love when I try new things and they actually turn out the way I picture in my head! I think I will have to make this again!!

Our first nephew!!

"Landyn Kenneth Philip DuFour"

Last Thursday Mikes youngest brother Andrew and his wife Kayla had their first baby - a boy!! This is our first nephew and of course he is gorgeous! He was born last Thursday night Nov 15th. Mike and I went to see him last Friday night and then we were in Mississauga again on Saturday for a seminar so of course we stopped in to see him again! We are so excited to have a nephew, we have two nieces that we love to death so this is very exciting! Here are a couple of pictures of him! Congratulations Andrew and Kayla - he is truly a gift from God!!!

Mommies in Waiting Dinner!

Last Friday night (Nov 9th) I went to another Mommies in Waiting dinner. The dinners are held every two months and mommies from all over the GTA and further come out and chat, eat etc.. it is such a great support group! This time we had 13 mommies and little Ava! We have mommies who are already home with their little ones, mommies who have just recieved referrals and then mommies like me who are waiting and waiting and waiting. Also we have mommies who are adopting from other countries too - not just China so it is always very interesting to hear everyones stories.

To be honest at first I wasn't feeling overly excited about going - it seems that any adoption news lately is always depressing and I was feeling like somehow I just needed to try to put the adoption to the back of my mind...yeah right, like that's going to happen. Well I went and it actually made me feel 100% better!! The drive in with Karen was great even though we were in bad traffic the whole time, it gave us time to chat and catch up. I am so thankful for my friendship that has evolved with Karen, I love to visit and talk with her and seeing Samara always makes me feel that it is only a matter of time before Mike and I will be home with our daughter!

Dinner was great, the company was great (Catherine is always so positive she made me feel better right away) and I left there feeling great - stuffed but great!

We always have a gift exchange at the dinner and this time the theme was "reading". I received "Goodnight Goodnight Sleepy Head" and "Five Little Monkeys" I LOVE them! I love both stories and I love books that are hard pages - much less chance of getting damaged etc..!! You can never have too many books - Mhyia will love them!

November Referrals are here!!

Congratulations to everyone who received their referral this month! The CCAA matched up to and including December 8th, 2005 which means that there is now 264 LID's left to match to get to ours (Aug 29, 06). I really have NO idea what this means anymore in terms of time?? Originally we were told 9-12 months (it has been 14 already) then we were told 14, then 16, then 18 then it went to 24 months and then it took a huge jump and went to 3 years and know I swear it is going to be longer although I am praying that it doesn't. Who knows anymore, I just wish I could count on a timeline so that I could actually start to get excited as we get closer but all that has happened for us is that it has continually gotten further and further away. I just want her here as soon as possible!!!

Meeting our Travel Group Friends!!

Well this weekend we went to London and met a couple that we will be travelling with to China (hopefully in this decade!). We are group 272 and we had 7 couples in our group but I think it is down to 5 or 6 now. All of the couples are pretty spread out over Canada and there is NEVER any interaction with any of them besides us.

Both Melody and I have sent out e-mails to our group members when exciting things happen like getting throught the review room etc.. but we never hear from any of them. We on the other hand have talked since day one and this weekend is the first time we have met. It was so exciting to meet Mike and Melody, even though we are a far way off from travelling it made it seem more real and of course we really like them so that is even better, especially considering we will be spending two weeks and one of the biggest most exciting days of our lives togehter!! We live about 2 hours away from each other so we met in the middle for lunch, oh how I wish we lived closer but oh well we have already talked about getting together for some other things so we can't wait!!!

14 Month LID Anniversary!!!

Well once again another month has gone by - not fast enough but at least we are headed in the right direction! I can't wait until the day that our LID anniversary number is larger than the number of months that we still have to wait.

I have been trying very hard to not think about it too much because it is just so far away plus the fact that I am still unemployed doesn't make it any easier. It is very difficult to say $$ for China when you are unemployed. I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and I do truly believe that, it's just that I am getting sick of waiting for the reason to come to light!

Please comment!!!

Okay I put a counter on my blog which I am thinking is a bad idea!! I drive myself nuts when it is constantly going up yet I have no new comments!

Please leave a comment - even if it is just "Hi"!! I know so many of my family and friends tell me they go to our blog and I have yet to see any comments! As for strangers - I would love for you to comment - I am one who completely jumps around to any and everyones blogs to read stories of how people pass their time waiting or of course my favourite is referral time and the great stories in China as well as once people are home. I just love to see that people have been to our blog!!

So please - for my sanity - leave a comment!!

Chinese Lantern Festival!!

Last weekend Mike and I went The Chinese Lantern Festival at Ontario Place with my cousin Darlene and her daughter Lexi! It was amazing, the weather was absolutely perfect. There is so much to see that we didn't really get to see and do everyhting that we wanted but it was still wonderful. We ate (chinese food of course), we looked at the crafts (I wish there had been more), Mike had some tea at the Tea Ceremony, we watched the performers and then of course we walked along the pathway and looked at all the lanterns - they are beautiful during the day but they are amazing at night!!

This lady was painting names on these paper banners - she would use a alot of different colours and make each letter using dragons, flowers etc... she was so fast it was really amazing! We got one that said "Mhyia" and Lexi got one too! I am going to trim of the green border and frame it for Myhia's room!



Below are some of the lanterns - most were made of material but some were made of some kind of crystal bead looking things - very beautiful!! (if you click on the a photo you can get a closer look)


This one was huge and the whole thing was made of tea cups, saucers, spoons and plates - this is a close up of one part of the dragon head


This one was made to advertise for the Olympics in 2008 - these five little characters are on everything Olymic related!


It was a great night, we had a great time! There were SO MANY adoptive parents there with there little girls - it made me wish that that was us but I just kept telling myself that it will be - one day!

We are going to go back next year for sure if they have it again! I will try to post some pictures of the performers later.

13 month LID Anniversary!!

Today marks our 13 month LID anniversary!

I can't believe how long this process has become since we first started. We actually started the whole process 20 months ago. Thank goodness we are finally out of the review room so now we just have to wait for our referral!

October referral rumors are starting to come and apparently the CCAA has matched upto at least Nov 30th,2005 so thank goodness we have finally finished November, it seems like November has been in there forever! If they did indeed only match upto the 30th than this means we would have 272 more days until they match our LID - okay thats funny, our group number at our agency is #272! I don't even want to think about how long it will be if they only match 5 and 6 days at a time. They would have to go back to matching 10 days a month for us to wait 27 more months and that would put us over a 3 year total wait. I just hope that all the rumors about matching picking up in the new year are true!

Yeah!! Something to Celebrate!!

I got a great surprise this morning when I went to Rumor Queens website - she posted that the CCAA has finished reviewing Aug 2006!!

That means they have reviewed our file and everything must have been okay becuase we didn't get any phone calls. We are officially approved and now waiting, waiting and waiting some more to be matched with our little girl!

I was just checking the CCAA website yesterday and thinking how it would probably be at least two more weeks before we would see anything - if anything at all. What a great way to start my day, lets hope I get some other exciting news today - maybe on the jobfront!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well today is my birthday and as I sit here and type I am remembering last years birthday when I was about 10 pounds lighter, was employed, and thought I would have our little girl in about a year or so. Well today those things couldn't be further from the truth. I am trying to put a positive spin on my situation by telling myself that this too can be a year of changes and hopefully for the better. I am seriously going to try to loose weight and I am looking for a job that I will love - one where I can possibly advance and hopefully be at for the rest of my working days. As for bringing our daughter home sooner - that is completely out of our control but I can pray that somehow we don't have to wait more than 2 more years and celebrate each month that goes by (at a snails pace) as one more month down!

Well as for today I am currently sitting at home by myself bored out of my mind but later today I am going to my parents for dinner and cake (I guess I will start my diet tomorrow!!) with Mike and my family!! I LOVE going home on my birhtday - it is where I have my best birthday memories and of course my mom and dad always make a big deal over my birthday which I LOVE. I am not one for a huge party but I love to go home!!!

Something to be happy about!!!

I was just on the CCAA website and they have officially reviewed up to July 31st, 2006 which means they must be working on August right now!!! We have a LID of Aug 29th, 2006. I know that it doesn't mean we are really any closer but I will be so excited once I see August on there. It will be the first thing to happen in months so I am looking forward to it. The unfortunate part is that once our file is through all we really have to do is wait, wait, and wait some more but at least it will be one more thing down. I hope we don't have any questions about our file but if we do I am hoping it won't be anything to major. Come on August!!!

Another disappointing month.

Well I got up this morning and thought I would check the CCAA website and I couldn't believe it had been updated but much to my disappointmnet they have only matched to November 25, 2005. This means they only match 4 days worth!!!! A big congratulations to those moms and dads who will receive a referral this month!! For anyone waiting ...there is nothing excitng about this news.

We have a LID of Aug 29, 2006 which means that we are 277 days away from our LID. If the CCAA matches 4 days at a time we would have a mere 69 more months to wait. If they take another 6 months to match the rest of 2005 then they would have to go back to mathcing 15 days a month for all of 2006 for us to receive our referral in the estimated 3 years. I just don't know what to do anymore?? With so many years of infertility and never ending disappointing news we were soooo excited to start our adoption and since we started it has been the same constant disappointing news.

There are so many rumours that Nov 2005 was a huge month for LID's and once the CCAA gets through it and especially into 2006 things will go back to a better referral rate each month - I can't tell you how I am hoping/wishing/praying that this is true.

1 Year LID anniversary!!!!!

Well it has officially been 1 year since our file was logged in with the CCAA. I am not sure if I am excited or depressed?? On one hand I am excited it has been a year and it has seemed to go by fairly quickly but on the other hand I just keep thinking that we have 2+ more years to wait (fingers crossed for less).
It hasn't really been a great year either...12 months ago we thought we would be home with our daughter by now and then poof, in less than a year we went from waiting 9 months to waiting 3 years or more.

Then I think of how I wanted to loose weight before we go to China...that hasn't happened yet.

I need to find a new job since I got laid off two months ago....that hasn't happened yet.

We need to save A LOT of money....that hasn't happened yet.

We want to finish the basement and do the driveway etc....that hasn't happened yet (thanks to lack of a job and therefore lack of funds)

These are all reasons why the rational, logical side of me says that there is a reason for the long wait and it will be better for us all around. Except for the fact that I want my little girl NOW!!!

Oh well for today I will celebrate the fact that it has been a year and than start to concentrate on these things that I want to do before our daughter gets here, I really do feel when I look back that a year has flown by!!!