Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well today is my birthday and as I sit here and type I am remembering last years birthday when I was about 10 pounds lighter, was employed, and thought I would have our little girl in about a year or so. Well today those things couldn't be further from the truth. I am trying to put a positive spin on my situation by telling myself that this too can be a year of changes and hopefully for the better. I am seriously going to try to loose weight and I am looking for a job that I will love - one where I can possibly advance and hopefully be at for the rest of my working days. As for bringing our daughter home sooner - that is completely out of our control but I can pray that somehow we don't have to wait more than 2 more years and celebrate each month that goes by (at a snails pace) as one more month down!

Well as for today I am currently sitting at home by myself bored out of my mind but later today I am going to my parents for dinner and cake (I guess I will start my diet tomorrow!!) with Mike and my family!! I LOVE going home on my birhtday - it is where I have my best birthday memories and of course my mom and dad always make a big deal over my birthday which I LOVE. I am not one for a huge party but I love to go home!!!

Something to be happy about!!!

I was just on the CCAA website and they have officially reviewed up to July 31st, 2006 which means they must be working on August right now!!! We have a LID of Aug 29th, 2006. I know that it doesn't mean we are really any closer but I will be so excited once I see August on there. It will be the first thing to happen in months so I am looking forward to it. The unfortunate part is that once our file is through all we really have to do is wait, wait, and wait some more but at least it will be one more thing down. I hope we don't have any questions about our file but if we do I am hoping it won't be anything to major. Come on August!!!

Another disappointing month.

Well I got up this morning and thought I would check the CCAA website and I couldn't believe it had been updated but much to my disappointmnet they have only matched to November 25, 2005. This means they only match 4 days worth!!!! A big congratulations to those moms and dads who will receive a referral this month!! For anyone waiting ...there is nothing excitng about this news.

We have a LID of Aug 29, 2006 which means that we are 277 days away from our LID. If the CCAA matches 4 days at a time we would have a mere 69 more months to wait. If they take another 6 months to match the rest of 2005 then they would have to go back to mathcing 15 days a month for all of 2006 for us to receive our referral in the estimated 3 years. I just don't know what to do anymore?? With so many years of infertility and never ending disappointing news we were soooo excited to start our adoption and since we started it has been the same constant disappointing news.

There are so many rumours that Nov 2005 was a huge month for LID's and once the CCAA gets through it and especially into 2006 things will go back to a better referral rate each month - I can't tell you how I am hoping/wishing/praying that this is true.

1 Year LID anniversary!!!!!

Well it has officially been 1 year since our file was logged in with the CCAA. I am not sure if I am excited or depressed?? On one hand I am excited it has been a year and it has seemed to go by fairly quickly but on the other hand I just keep thinking that we have 2+ more years to wait (fingers crossed for less).
It hasn't really been a great year either...12 months ago we thought we would be home with our daughter by now and then poof, in less than a year we went from waiting 9 months to waiting 3 years or more.

Then I think of how I wanted to loose weight before we go to China...that hasn't happened yet.

I need to find a new job since I got laid off two months ago....that hasn't happened yet.

We need to save A LOT of money....that hasn't happened yet.

We want to finish the basement and do the driveway etc....that hasn't happened yet (thanks to lack of a job and therefore lack of funds)

These are all reasons why the rational, logical side of me says that there is a reason for the long wait and it will be better for us all around. Except for the fact that I want my little girl NOW!!!

Oh well for today I will celebrate the fact that it has been a year and than start to concentrate on these things that I want to do before our daughter gets here, I really do feel when I look back that a year has flown by!!!

Our trip to Ottawa - Part 1

I am fianlly getting around to posting some photos of our trip to Ottawa. We had so much fun (although I couldn't get the fact that I was probably going to be out of a job out of my head). My parents have never been to Ottawa and I hadn't been since grade eight (which was only a few years ago..haha..)

Here is a picture of me enjoying a beaver tail mmmmmm I should have bought my own instead of agreeing to share with Mike!!

We went to all the tourist attractions..Parliment Hill, The museum of Civilization, War museum etc... we also got to see the first Changing of the Guard at the Parliment Buildings. Mike was in heaven, he loves that stuff!!

Overall we had a great trip!! The annual ribfest was on the whole weekend while we were there so thanks to my mom and dad we enjoyed a lot of ribs one night! Ottawa is so beautiful we will go back for sure maybe next year - there is so much to see it is almost impossible to do it in one weekend.


Changing of the Guard - this was the first ceremony of the season and we got to see it. It was a very cool ceremony!!





Mom at the Parliment Buildings - They were setting up for Canada Day so it was hard to get a good picture of the Parliment Buildings straight on.








Mike standing beside the former Prime Minister Lester B. Pearson statue. He was so excited to be there, Mike loves anything to do with history, government etc... I had to take his picture by EVERY statue!







My Dad inside a tank at The War Museum - My dad and Mike were like kids in a candy shop in this room at The War Museum. It was filled with old tanks, cannons, planes etc...etc... anyhting to do with vehicles in the war. It was quite neat but it wasn't quite as exciting for my mom and I.




Mike - very excited by the Cheese Shop!!






Me - much more excited by the Bakery!! These shops were at the Byward Market. We loved the Byward Market, it was filled with all kinds of street venders selling produce and baked goods etc.. and then there were also all kinds of shops and restaurants as well!!




My Mom and I at the Museum of Civilization - I think this was my personal favourite of the things that we did. There is lots to see and do and of course the view is beautiful. You can see the back of The Parliment Buildings behind us!



All in all we had a great trip and lots of fun!! I think we will be going back next year for more - there is too much to see and do in one trip. I will post the pictures from the Treasures from China exhibit that was at the museum as soon as I figure out how to do one of the rolling picture things.

11 month LID anniversary!!!

Okay we are almost to our 1 year anniversary! When I look forward to how long we still have to wait it seems like forever and when I look back on what we have now already waited it seems like it has gone by fast. Hopefully we only have approx 24 more months to wait - but who knows?? If things don't start to pick up in the new year it could be longer but I will hope for the best - that is all we can do!!

One month closer!

I just noticed that June 2006 is out of the review room!! The CCAA has been flying through the last couple of months. Only two more months worth and we will be through the review room - then I will breath a huge sigh of relief. Now if the CCAA would just be able to go through referrals that quickly we would be in heaven!

For anyone not knowing what I mean when I say through the review room it means that the CCAA (China Centre for Adoption Affairs) has to review each persons file and either approve it or not approve it - I personally have never heard of someone not being approved but I am sure it has happened? for the most part, they might ask questions relating to your file if there is anything that they want clarification on etc... Once they complete your month than you are through, you are approved to adopt from China!! We are LID Aug 29, 2006 so only two more months to go, it is something for us to look forward to since nothing has been happening lately!!

A lot has happened since my last post!

Okay I need to be more on top of my posts. A lot has happened since my last one - I will list them in order...

1. We took a trip to Ottawa - I will do a second post about this next because it was a lot of fun, I took a lot of pictures and we also went to see the "Treasures from China" exhibit which I also took a lot of pictures of (it was amazing).

2. I lost my job - I already wrote about this one but I will touch on it again. As much as I am freaking out about it I am trying to look at it as a blessing in disguise. I have been wanting to get a more secure job, one where I can advance and hopefully have a pension etc.. My ideal job is to work anywhere in the government (federal, provincial or municipal) - I don't care if I have to start off by delivering mail. I really hope I can somehow make this happen, it would give me a couple of years to work and get established before we get our little love bug!

3. Our 10 month LID anniversary!! - This was on the 29th of June, I wasn't in the mood for celebrating but I was excited that we were finally into the double digit numbers. As everyone already knows and I know that most people feel exactly the same way it is hard to be excited becasue every month that we have gotten closer we actually have gotten further away. The rumours have stayed around the "3 year" mark for a while now so lets hope and pray it doesn't go any longer.

4. Mommies in Waiting dinner - This was my first time being able to attend the mommies in waiting dinner which was A LOT of fun. Thank you sooooo much to Karen for letting me drive in with her - I guarantee I would have got lost!! We did the gift exchange which was exciting - I recieved a little bikini (so cute) and a beach bucket and shovel as well as a beach baby scrapbook page already done - just waiting for my little beach babies picture! Paula also gave all of us a knitted teddy bear - thanks Paula! It was so great to finally meet so many people who I only know through their blogs and be able to talk with people who know exactly what I am going through and have the same feelings themselves!!

5. Our 12th Wedding Anniversary! - It was our 12th wedding anniversay on July 8th, we went to The Ancaster Old Mill for their champaigne brunch which was amazing as always!! I don't drink champaigne but as always Mike enjoyed both of ours (all 12 glasses or so!!) Anyways it was very nice, I can't believe we have been married for 12 years already - we have been through A LOT in that time and I thank god that I have a DH who is always by my side and so loving!!

Well I think that is it since my last post! I am going to post those pictures from Ottawa in the next day or so!!

I need a job!!!

Well just when I thought things couldn't get much worse...they did! I am officially out of a job and am kind of FREAKING OUT!!! I have bills to pay and China to save for etc... I hate complaining because really my life is pretty good but I can't go without a job so I need to get something. I am going to take this opportunity to try and find a good stable job before the baby comes! If anyone has any great job openings please let me know!

Road Trip...Ottawa here we come!

Well I have one day of work left and then I am on holidays unitl the 3rd YIPEE!!!! We aren't going on a big trip this year but we are going to take some small trips. This week we are going to Ottawa for a couple of days with my parents. We have been talking about going for a couple of years now so we are finally going! I haven't been since grade 7 and my parents have never been so we should have a good time. We are going to the Museum of Civilization where they have a "Treasures of China" exhibit there all summer - apparently these "treasures" have never been out of China so that will be exciting to see. We are also going to the War Museum and the Parliment Buildings etc.. I think the thing I am most excited about is eating a Beaver Tail!! I have been dieting for a week or so know so I am in need of some sugar!

I am so looking forward to being off and catching up on things around the house, we will probably also do some day trips to Niagara-on-the-Lake and maybe Toronto. Well I am off to start packing!

I think I am going to need professional help!!

First of all let me start of by saying CONGRATULATIONS to everyone receiving their long awaited referrals this month! By the sound of the rumours it looks like the CCAA has matched up to and including the 7th of November 2005 - again only 6 days worth. I seriously think by the time our wait is over I could be living in a looney bin! Six days is better than 2 but come on this is getting ridiculous. If the 6 days continued we would be waiting 49 more months on top of the 9 we have already waited. I calculated that from now to our referral there would need to be an 11 day average each month for us to get our referral in the estimated 3 years. I had heard rumours before that Nov & Dec 2005 were heavy LID months so I am praying this is true and once the CCAA gets through them things can pick up a little. What are other people thinking or hearing in terms of the wait?? - some people have told me that their agencies have told them 2 years to referral but how can this be?? My agency has told us that they expect us to wait up to 3 years from LID which is crazy but if you go by the last couple of months referrals we could be waiting longer?? I have no idea what to think anymore - I am seriously going NUTS!!!

9 month anniversary!!

Well today marks our 9 month LID anniversary. In one way it seems to have gone by fast but in another way it seems like it has been FOREVER!! When we decided to adopt way back in Dec 2005, I was soooo excited. I couldn't believe that after so many years of wanting a child we were finally going to get our wish. I really felt for the first time that I was actually going to be a mom. I would pick up things when I was shopping and I thought about how I was going to decorate the nursery etc... I would even pick up the odd outfit when I saw something on clearance or something that I just had to have. Well 17 months since we began this whole process and I feel further away from our wish for a daughter than ever. I think because the timelines have gotten so long that it makes it hard to stay excited, don't get me wrong I am still extremley excited it just seems more like a dream than a reality. The one thing that would always boost my spirits was to pick up things as I was shopping but even that doesn't seem so exciting, if anything it makes me depressed that I have no idea when she will be here, I have no idea what size clothes to buy, I have no idea what season we will get her etc etc.... I feel like I have to wait at least another year before I can buy things like a stroller, a carseat, a crib etc... without feeling strange or guilty for purchasing it.
I think I need to start interacting with more people going through the process, I think that will help me to not feel so alone. I see these groups that have LID's months after ours even and the travel groups get together etc... I haven't heard from anyone in our group (with the exception of one) in 9 months. Anyways I think I have bummed myself out enough for today. Does anyone else feel like this?? How do you snap out of it?? What's everyones take on purchasing things??

My Brother's Wedding!!

Well the wedding is over! My brother got married last weekend and it was perfect! The wedding was perfect and the weather was absolutley amazing the whole weekend. I can't believe that my little brother is actually married and I have a new sister!!! Congratulations Rob and Tiff - the wedding was great, everything turned out perfect and I wish you both a lifetime of happiness!!



It has been crazy for me since last August and mostly wedding related - I must admit I feel like I should be organizing or planning something - I think I am going through withdrawl! I can now start working on my huge list of things to get done around the house before we bring Mhyia home - unfortunatly time seems to be one thing we have lots of thanks to the constant slow downs from the CCAA. Oh well I have decided there is no use in being miserable about it, we are going to use our time to accomplish some things around the house - we have a new house but it is still amazing how many things need to be done. I think I have a five page list of things. I started today by repainting the kitchen and all the trim, we are also putting up crown moulding and we should be getting our new pantry sometime this week (we ordered it 16 weeks ago)!!



Here are some pictures from the big day - unfortunately I don't have any pictures of Mike and I together, he was busy taking pictures and I was busy with the wedding party photos - I will have to get one from someone else and post it later!! (for those of you who aren't sure I am the bridesmaid with my hair down!!)

Happy 10th Birthday Shayla

I just wanted to wish our niece Shayla a very very Happy 10th Birthday. I can't believe that she is 10 years old - I swear it feels like she was just born - just goes to show how time flies. These are some pictures from her birthday party we went to on the weekend - oh ya "I made the cake" I think it turned out pretty funky if I do say so myself!! Shayla was our very first niece and is so special to me, I just know she is going to be such a great big cousin for Mhyia!! Happy Birthday Shayla - we love you lots!!! xoxoxo

Here's a shocker.....more depressing news!

Okay I had read about this on someones blog on Good Friday but I guess I was so upset about it that I was trying to deny that it could actually be true! The CCAA only matched two days worth of LID's this month. Is this crazy or what - at that rate we would be waiting 12 years. Like I said I think I am actually still in denial about it but I was looking back at last year and around this time was the least amount of days matched too (5 days). I heard a rumour that Oct/Nov tend to be heavier matching months?? I have no idea if this is true but I will go with it for now! What does everyone else think?? I just don't understand how 7 months ago we were told we would wait 9-12 months (we thought we would bank on 18 and that way we wouldn't/couldn't be dissappointed) and now they are telling people 18-24 months but if you do the math it is more like up to 27 more months on top of the 7 we have already waited?? I understand that there are not unlimited babies but this screams more political than anything to me? I read an interesting article in the New York Times a while ago about this exact topic and it was saying that the number of babies adopted into the USA last year, although still high was actually lower than the year previous and that they too felt it could be more for political reasons. With the upcoming Olympics in August 2008 the world's eyes are on China more than ever and I personally think this has a lot more to do with it than will ever be admitted?? I just can't understand how it goes from 30-35 days worth/month (a year ago) to 2 days/month - it just seems impossible?? If anyone has any better insight or other thoughts please feel free to share!! It isn't going to change what happens I just like to feel I have a better grasp of what is going on!

A gift from Grandma!!

Last week I went shopping with my mom and she bought us/Mhyia a couple of things!! She bought us this little ladybug magnet for the fridge and she also bought this ladybug sleeper and matching diaper shirt - they are sooo cute I love them!!! I am hoping the extra ladybugs around the house will help to bring us goodluck in our adoption process!! I just wanted to say thank you mom for these - I know it is so far away and it is hard to let yourself get too excited (I feel the same way most days) but it is nice once in a while to get new things to help make it seem more real and less like something we just dream about! I really appreciate them and all of your constant love and support - hopefully Mhyia will be running around the house in these quicker than we think!

Thank You

I have been meaning to post a big Thank you to Auntie Anna for yet another beautiful gift. She bought Mhyia this discovery sound cube toy and she gave me a beautiful card with a gift certificate to Chapters. I have been working on her daughters scrapbook for her and she said it was her way of saying Thank you. I absolutley love it and it is so exciting to recieve things along this ever increasing LONG journey to Mhyia. Anna - thank you for being such an amazing friend and always being so thoughtful and considerate of my overly emotional state during this long adoption process!

7 month Anniversary!!

Well today marks our 7 month anniversary since our LID!! I had a reminder come up on my computer today saying "only 11 months left" well that is from the beginning when we thought we would be waiting up to 18 months, it has now been 7 months and we might have another 18 months to wait?? I will keep hoping and praying that somehow it isn't quite this long! As you can see from my lack of posts nothing to exciting has happened with Mike or I in the past month. We have been crazy busy doing things for my brothers upcoming wedding, we had a shower/stagette party, a family shower and last weekend the stag and doe, so needless to say this month has flown by! As for adoption news - the CCAA only matched 11 days worth of LID's this month but I am hoping that it had something to do with the Chinese New Year last month and the fact that they didn't work a whole month?? I am hoping for a higher number at the beginning of April (fingers crossed). I have had some new people post to my blog and I LOVE IT!! I am new to the blogging world but I love when I see that people have taken the time to post a comment - I promise when my life slows down in the next month or so I will be more diligent about replying! Talk to everyone soon!!!

6 Month Anniversary!

Well it is our 6 month anniversary since our China LID (log in date), YEAH! It means nothing really other than it's something that makes us feel like we have conquered another hurtle!! Six months ago we thought that thinking we had 18 months ahead of us was a totally safe bet, in fact we were over the predictions at that time by at least 4 months. How quickly things change! It has now been 6 months and we are know being told that we still have 18 months ahead of us. Unfortunately there is nothing we can do but wait and thankfully the first 6 months have actually gone by really fast! As we have seen things can change in a moments notice so you never know - all we can do is hope for the best and hope that it is sooner than later!! Thanks so much to everyone who posts comments - we love reading them and it is nice to see that people are following along with us in this long wait!

Happy Chinese New Year!!!

We just wanted to wish all of our family and friends a very Happy Chinese New Year, February 18th officially marks the "year of the pig". Mike and I attended the Children's Bridge New Years Celebration in Markham this Year along with my sister-in-law, her husband and our two nieces! We had a lot of fun, the girls got to make a lot of crafts (so did Mike!), we ate some traditional food and then watched some cultural performances and of course the Lion Dance - which was great! It was really nice to see everyone with their children - especially all of the new babies!! - it makes it seem more real and it does wonders for boosting our spirits, especially considering the long wait still ahead. I have posted some pictures form the CB New Year celebration and then of course what would a Chinese celebration be without a trip to the Mandarin for the dumpling festival!!!