March 1st...could it be???

Could it be this month?? After 66 months - Yes that's right 66 months!!! Could March be our month??

For the first time I don't know what I think about what the CCAA will do next. Even RQ is saying she just doesn't know what to think anymore? Last month the CCAA only did 6 days which was the equivalent of 12 RQ families - if they did 12 families again (which is a pathetic number) then we would be included but that would be 8 days so will they do that many days??

Only time will tell!!!

January referrals!

Well the CCAA have sent out referrals for January (before leaving for CNY) they have done upto and including August 15, 2006! It was kind of what I was expecting; it is equivalent to 28 RQ families which means it seems a little bit better than last month’s batch.

If they were to refer the same amount next month that would more than include us but I honestly do not see that happening. That would mean they would have to refer 14 days and even if they could I just don’t think they would. I am kind of thinking they will get to maybe Aug 22/23 next month and then finish out August the month after – which means a March referral for us. To be honest that is the way I am hoping it plays out LOL, or even April – I know after all this time that sounds awful but I feel like it has been so far a way for so long and now all of a sudden it is here and I’m not prepared – I am gearing up to be prepared for March so earlier would just throw me off LOL.

Also there is no one logged in between the 19^th and the 27 (inclusive) so that is why the CCAA could easily do what would appear to be a larger batch.

So this also officially means that our group is NEXT at our agency!! Yahoo group 272 - although there is only one other couple left in our group which originally had 8 couples I believe? Only 14 month lid's to go!!!

64 months!!

I think after 60 months hit I have totally lost track - I keep forgetting to post on the 29th of the month. There really isn't much to say other than hopefully it will be our turn in the next couple of months!!

Here's hoping I only need to post 2 or 3 more of these month counters!!

FINALLY in AUGUST!!!!!!!

Well we weren't sure if we would see referrals in October but to our surprise we not only got them, we got them early!! I woke up on Friday October 21st to RQ reporting that the CCAA had referred up to and including Aug 2, 2006.

OMG can I just point out that they are FINALLY in August!!!!! The referral batch was really small, in fact the smallest EVER but I was happy for a couple of reasons:

• to see referrals for this month at all


• to see that they made it in to August


• to see that they came over a week sooner than we thought!


• also there is only group 271 ahead of us now at our agency!

What does this mean for us?? Good question LOL - I am still thinking March or April for a referral and we are fine with that!! I totally expect they will skip a month either Nov or Dec and then I feel it will take them 3 to 5 months to finish Aug and of course we are Aug 29th. Now according to RQ polls there is no one logged in Aug 19-27, which should help to speed things up for us a little.

As always - only time will tell!!

61 MONTHS!

Today marks 61 months since our file was logged in with the CCAA - as always I really can't believe it. Although today I am not upset about it - yesterday the CCAA matched 14 days worth of families and that was VERY exciting!! It not a huge batch in terms of babies but we will take it and I LOVED marking 14 days of my calendar at work. Kimberly marched right over to my desk and made me mark them off as soon as I got in. We are "hoping" that we will have about 6-7 more months to go still?? Which seems like nothing really after this long. Mike actually called me at work and said "maybe we should paint the nursery?" - so cute - I LOVE that he is starting to get excited too!!

Our file as I said was sent to the CCAA and logged in there computer system 61 months ago and since then it has been sitting on a shelf - maybe in one of these pics?? who knows?





I have also been thinking about Mhyia alot lately - I have been thinking that she is probably born now and waiting for us in an orphanage - it upsets me that she will be there for months before we get her but we will make up for lost time once we have her in our arms. Of course I am hoping for the youngest baby possible and am hoping that if we do get a referral in March/April - I am hoping she would have a birthday of Aug/Sept or dare I even say October!! Only time will tell!

5 YEARS - since our file was logged in at the CCAA

I would NEVER have imagined I would ever type this post. When we started we were soooo excited and were told 9-12 months. In fact when we started in Jan 2006 people who were then receiving referrals had waited 7 months. I can remember the night they told us at Adopttalk that it could reach 18 months, I cried all the way home.

I am not going to lie - these 5 years have been very hard - during this time soooo much has happened..births, deaths, marriages, vacations, job changes etc... when I stop and think about it it is even harder. We have friends/family that have gotten married and have 2 kids now and yes we are STILL waiting. I think about how Mhyia's Uncle Kevin will never meet her and it makes me sad.

I think the hardest part is the fact that I have not yet gotten to a point where we can truly be excited - we are always cautious. It has always been so far away that we actually have tried not to talk about it too much. Although I want to talk about it - I want to be excited, I want to look at and buy some baby items without feeling silly or guilty. I want people to ask me how it is going and about the process etc... and I find that most people don't ask us ANYTHING and that is hard. I think the past couple of months we have finally started to get a bit excited, and although we are still cautious we are moving forward - we see a small light at the end of the tunnel.

I think about her everyday and I wonder if she is born yet, I think about the woman walking around who is pregnant with her and how this will be the hardest thing she will ever do yet in some strange way the best thing that will ever happen to us. I wonder where she will leave her and if she will leave a note, I think about how we will love her more than anything and try to give her everything yet her birth mom will never know where she is or who she is with. I think about that day we will receive her referral and how I pray she will be as young as possible, and at the very least have her here before her 1st birthday.

We can't wait to go to China, we think about it all the time, we can't wait to meet her, we can't wait to go back to our hotel room with her and hang out just the three of us, we can't wait to be home with her and get on with our lives as a family of three!

So today although in one way sad in another way it is exciting because we are always one day closer to her and to be honest as much as this wait has been the worst thing EVER I feel like the timing is now perfect and we are soooo ready for her!!

59 month LID anniversary

Today marks 59 months since our file was logged in in China with the CCAA - next month will be 5 years! To be honest there really isn't much to say other than that!

58 months and June referrals!!

Well August 29th marked our 58th month since our LID - August will officially be 5 years since our file was logged in in China - there is no way we are getting a referral in the next 2 months so I guess there's just one more thing that China said that wasn't true (that the wait would not reach 5 years). Also since we started this process in January 2006 we have actually been waiting 5 1/2 years. Well at least we feel there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Fingers crossed.

June referrals were sent out on June 30th - they have been literally arriving the last day of each month and there have been 6 months so far and also 6 referral batches!! I know they usually skip a month somewhere in the year but so far things are looking good. They only did 6 days this month which was extremely small compared to last month but not too far off from the rest of this year. Also there were a bunch of people who were in the expedited group as well as some people that were skipped last month.

I feel like if they continue to do approx the same amount of babies then it would put us around January/Feb for a referral. Will they do it??? who knows?? Once you get to August and even the second half of July there are so few people logged in that they could still do a small amount of babies but cover a larger amount of days so we will have to wait and see!!

57 month LID anniversary

May 29th marked 57 months since our file was logged in with the CCAA - there is really nothing more to say...LOL

56 months - WOW

Well as with many other months I really don't have too much to say - I guess the only good thing is that we are another month closer!! I do really feel (hope) as long as things stay approx. the same that we should get a referral by this time next year!! I REALLY hope so - I think I have waited long enough. I didn't mind a couple of extra months but 48 and counting is just getting a little ridiculous!!

Also I/we have been thinking a lot lately that most likely somewhere in China someone has either given birth to our daughter or someone is pregnant with her - it is so unbelievable to think about it but SOOOOO exciting!! I just so badly want her here with us - we are so excited about her and about finally becoming a family of 3!! She will suffer loss prior to joining our family and we will never forget the sacrifice her birth mom made for her but we will be eternally grateful and can't wait for her to be here with us - her forever family.

Another exciting thing about today is the Royal Wedding - yahoo!!

54 months!

Well I am posting this today which is technically one day early - but tomorrow would technically be one day late, LOL. Our lid is Aug 29th and since there is no Feb 29th I will count it today.

We have officially been waiting 54 months - I am really really really hoping by this time next year we will either be home with Mhyia or at least in receipt of her referral. I can't believe I say a "year" like it's nothing. I remember coming home from one of our adoption classes in 2006 and we had just been told that the wait could possibly go to 18 months and I cried all the way home - I didn't know how I would be able to wait that long LOL.

It is NOT funny really, I hate it, I hate every second of this wait, I hate that I/we are almost 5 years older than when we started, I hate that we won't be able to go back to China for a sibling for Mhyia, I hate that every time I try to get excited something happens to take that away - I hate it all but there is nothing I can do about it - so I just keep going and hope for the best.

Look back - Jan 29th - 53 months!

Well we just hit 53 months since out LID - again...no words :(

Also it looks like the CCAA has decided to skip sending referrals this month completely - seriously I am not sure how much more of this I can take, just when I allow myself to get a tiny bit excited the CCAA puts a screeching hault to that.